Conscious Communicators Club
How C3 Came to be
I've had many jobs throughout my life. Most were rewarding in many ways. I developed some wonderful relationships and made important contributions. I was also let go from jobs for a multitude of reasons: the position has been redefined, downsizing, not the right fit. It certainly didn’t do wonders to address my need for self worth, acknowledgement and connection.
A big part of the challenge was my inability to converse effectively with others. Sure, I could talk to most people, but for whatever reason, I had dysfunctional relationships with a few others and didn’t seem to have the ability to resolve them. It caused me a lot of grief and certainly had an impact on my career ambitions.
I realized that this pattern was present from a young age, and it had seeped into all circles of life: work, family, pastimes. I was very often overwhelmed by a symphony of emotions. I often blamed others for my challenges, but I mostly blamed myself. I tried lots of ways to get out of this pattern, but it was conscious communication that really changed my life.
No longer did I look at life through the lens of judgement: who’s right and who's wrong; who's to blame; is this good or bad; who do I agree with? I replaced judgement with new lens: that of needs. My conversations went from the explosively charged language of the righteous and the guilty to the language of life, which focuses on acknowledging feelings and needs in the present moment. What am I feeling right now. What is the underlying need that this feeling is trying to convey?
It was very liberating. I learned that my emotions were trying to tell me that my needs for connection, relevance and contribution weren’t being met. With time, my conversations with others became much more satisfying. I learned not to judge others, and especially myself, so harshly.I also assumed goodwill in people, including me. If they didn't show goodwill, it meant that they had an unmet need.
Now, when my body sends me messages through feelings such as anger, shame, frustration, or sadness, I don’t ignore them. Rather, I look inside to explore what was really going on.The deeper I delve into the language of life, the better I am in making conscious decisions and the more rewarding my life becomes. Stuff still happens. I still argue with my wife and encounter challenging situations. But I rarely get as heated or irritated as I once did.
​
Because of conscious communication, I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I am able to have deeper conversations with family, colleagues, teammates, executives, authorities, and strangers. I can even talk to people labeled as difficult.
Now I want to share the powers of conscious communication with others.That's why I created C3 - Conscious Communication Clubs. It gives everyone an opportunity to learn how to communicate effectively.​
One of my core values is contribution. I want to share something tangible that I hope makes this world a better place than when I entered it. I can do this through C3.